29 years in this world

it's been 29 years i come to this world and just 2 years recently i learn more and understand about life. still learning and practice it.
love this feeling, feel alive and keep learning.
thanks for everyone and everything that surround me and keep me changing until now.
because of u, u make me complete,
because of u, it makes imperfection become perfect
because of u, i deeply appreciate for all kinds attitude u give me
because of u, make me deeply thinking and give me more chance to appreciate my self then make me growth,
because of u , for one and a million reason, i say to u
THANK YOU
i love u , fill my love with joy, love and peace ,
i wish sooner that i can share to u.
it's part of my life and it's make me alive
because love will keep us together.
thanks for god, life, universal to give me these 29 years and ahead.
i wish my self : HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Changing by Myself or Waiting for Life to Change Me

We know we don't do our best,
We know we don't do the right thing,
We know what we want,
We know…..but..... we IGNORE it.

You say you’re aware, but be it without do anything , it’s the same that u do NOTHING.
You say you're waiting for right time, but when the right time comes, you let it PASSED.
You say you don't know what will make you change, so you wait until you know it.
Time goes by and you still in this point without changing. 
You know it's not right , you’re worried, but you still repeat it and change nothing.

Until one day, life changes you
It’s not getting better but worse, by then you curse life, 
You feel that it's not what you want, please change me,
You become stress and worried even more,......
And one day, in your deep mind, you’re thinking of what happens in your life,
Then you realize that u don't do you best, you don't feel gratitude and grateful
You don't achieve what you want and at the same time you can't accept what you’re doing in your life now.
So question after question come after you, 
What's wrong with me? 
Why I always grumble when I own everything, why I still feel empty inside? 
oo God , please help me. You pray all day, it's help to make you CALM.
but NOBODY will help u , except YOURSELF. 

Don't waste your time to challenge life and waiting for life to change you.
Every single day, change yourself and practice to live in a better way, no matter if you have money or not. Life don't see you in that way, but through your kindness and love .
We live too long under people's judgment, we grow up with money's doctrine, instead of living with gratefulness, kindness, love, live in proper way. People ask me that if you don't have money, then don't talk about kindness. Let me ask you this, do you need money to give a genuine smile to others everyday because u feel grateful?. Yap, it's not wrong that money important, but first thing that you need to know is what life is.

Sometimes I meet wealthy people, more than enough than others but they still say they have no enough, need more, so ask yourself, how much money do you need for u to say enough? so when you think about this question, u might realize that it's not about money after all.

But It's MORE about you, yourself and you life.

When you wake up tomorrow, say thanks to life, doing more good things, and express your love to others, because when something happen (you never know), you have felt real alive in one day, rather than in entire life feeling like human dead inside.

What you’re doing now, be it what you want or because you have to accept it, it doesn't matter at all. Because as long as it's good thing , do it, learn and practice more about life, that maybe something that u feel is missing all this long!!!

 

Do The RIGHT thinG

First time buy house in jkt put all the effort , and so many love put there, i call it my first home , home that make me remember all about the love, effort, and memories in there, i called it " homey ". Now even i don't stay there, it's always in my pray. We belong to that house, but we can't use it , do we need to blame that? no no no , i don't ever think about that maybe others. everything have their reason. At least ,homey now give shelter to others, hope that who stay in homey will take good care of it, not only because they need it but hope they love it too. because with love u will take good care, not when the owners coming home, then take good care. hope u understand.    

I'm not a calculative person, when i can help others, i try my best to help them. but ofcourse i want someone that i help can be a better person, can stand on their own feet. i don't have feeling pity to them but i love them. pity in my dictionary that if u pity on someone else, that's all about the material thing. everyone can be pity, please help me. but how long u can help them instead others that really in needy ? so i use the word " love " love means that u want to help them to stand on their feet so they don't feel pity to themself, or for others looking to them pity ,and they can give love to others too so all the love will continuosly flow. 

Is it so difficult for others to accept this metaphor? or maybe i'm scared to make any trouble because i can't face my fear? any reason for that because i don't want have any trouble. but i ask my self today , do u want to be that person that have so many things in ur mind but u can't do it in action. what u scare? is it worthy for u to living for like this, have worry and hiding this thing that u know one day this maybe can be stabbing u and u just accept it without do the right thing? can u accept it? 

I'm gratitude for everything i have and don't have. if i have it, it's become my responsible, isn't it? so why i must shut up because of fear? if trouble comes anything , still can face it, because u know u do the right thing, and take all the consequences. and still u know that "the almighty" will be witness. no need to find who right or wrong, just say what in ur minds and this burden&worry swept away and maybe ur good deeds can bloom one day in others, although the first at all u face the hard one. ( u know that how hard it is u can face it ) because it's not hard or easy but it just we call " life "

: )

* learn to make peace within myself *

Get swollen eye

ooooo my goodness, i get eye swollen near the new year's eve. i call it my new year's gift. thanks to remind me not too "thamciak" , can not enough to eat sambal. hohoho : ) today i see again, it slowly recover, i hope it get well soon, yesterday i still want it recover soon, so shy that everyone see u in different way, hahha : ) but it's not me if i can't tackle the situation. hohoho : ) i'm confidence to give them to see me in different way, to give them reminder don't so "tham ciak", to learn the other way to accept me , not perfect me. now i accept it, slowly recover... it's ok, new year's eve to celebrate, if i can't, no need to expect, still can celebrate at home. hihi : ) join with my family maybe another day. hope in 2days can recover but if u slowly2 too, it's ok. i accept u and hope u be my friend before i let u go. hahhaa : ) wish me get well soon. thanks to remind me, swollen eye. 

THANK YOU FOR EVERYONE IN MY LIFE

Thank you to life that give me everything i have and don't have,

Thank you to life that give me always to learn the new thing, new person, anything that give me more thoughtful, wiser , learn to accept and letting go, always pratice and sharing.

For who I am now :

* Thanks for my family, never give up to give me advise, always stand beside me, always give me warm, joy ,and love unconditionally. yah nobody's perfect but in my heart ,my mind my family imperfection makes it perfect. we learn from each other, no need think about others , we tough, together and here we are now without regret, all sad, love, laugh, and it goes again, we more mature, make us stronger, nothing to fear, just be ourself. I love u mom, dad,hubby,sis,bro, and my 2 little niece.

* Thanks to my big family , all of u taught me so many things, your laugh, joy , sharing give my life more colourful, sometimes tears come down but i know we still love .still respect each other, because all we give each other it's never regret, it give us learn more and more thing to share. maybe sometimes we don't contact each other , maybe because our schedule or missed up , never mind u know what we have its a great connection. no need to wait who call 1st.because we stand by each other.

*Thanks to my all friends, u know who u are and impact my life, from little cute girl to be a woman, spare most time with my friend. till now, when i meet you guys, i feel our feeling deeper : ) u all like my family. i cannot say one by one ur name becoz it's so many and if i forget one of ur name, i'm sad too. hahha : ) whatever we face up in our life , we still in there for each other. every stage of life, we will face it, we will face it together, u never alone, me too. your kindness and warmness always fill up my life. in our laughters still have tears, but we know we always stand by each other, cheer u up when u down, just give ear and hug to make u feel warm and we burst in tears may be don't know what exactly happen but still feel the same thing, becoz U're Special, coz U'RE MY FRIEND. Friend, whereever u are, whatever u do, i'm still the same. i love all of u. Muachh...Muachhh

*Thanks to my teacher, the person i'll always respect, give lessons that don't know is it useful for me then but it's wrong minded , always useful whatever i learn, and i learn from u, u 're not perfect too but u always try to give the perfect one to ur students, always challenge them, train them, practise , so never give up to the new one becoz u always make part in our growth. u're the perfect one! thanks to all my teacher.

*Thanks to person maybe i never know u, maybe u're in coincidence meet me or know me or konow u, for person in my life till nowdays, thank you become u're in part to make my wonderful life, my colourful life. Because You there, i learn more. Thanks to everyone in this universal include to the flowers i'd been passed by these all days.

Thanks to the life giving me such a beautiful thing to learn, to practise, to give my best everyday,never give up to reach, always grateful for thing that i have and i don't have, it doesn't matter becoz in life , we always take and give, lost and found, laugh and cry, have and don't have, it doesn't matter because life it is always in that way, one still we can keep it's the FEELING and The MOMENT,but the BEST one is Letting GO.

New Day (13-10-09)

Today 13-10-09, I'm very excited to attend class after almost 6 years mostly spend my whole time in work life ( my carreer)

Me and my husband decide to learn new thing or to pursue our dreams or what we want. This is what i want , this is what i dream on. 

Hope that when my 30 comes , i'd ready to go to next step in my life.

For my dreams and personal achievement in these years, only one word to express "blissful". 

I learn that :

- I don't need to be rich but i have enough and rich in my soul .

- I'm not proud but i'm appreciate & gratitude for all i have and everyone gives me . whether is it praise, fierce, every emotional conditional, my tears ,laugh give me to become where i am today.

- I'm not looking for attention, but feel warmness in my heart with love from my family, friends,  my loved ones and everyone passed by in my life.

- I'm not thinking if, but i focus on now.

- I'm not waiting for people's help but ask for help or do it by myself. 

- I'm not waiting for life creates for me, but i create my life, i make every decision and responsible for all consequences. May be sometimes is wrong or stupid but it's part of process learning about life and i'm human at all. so if i fall, i'll stand again.

- Dare to dream on, and achieve ur dream

- Do what u want , if u don't know , accept what life gives u now. ( in all this year i accept what life give and always learn to know what i want , until now what i accept and what i want already aligned)

- Don't follow the crowd, but follow ur heart (of course in good way)

- Read self development book , and practise more and continuous.

- Keep Fit.

- Always smile and say thank you and growth good attitude become our habits.

- will updated again .... : )

ASK Ourself

How much u know about ur self?

How much u know about life? 

What purpose you in this life ?

Have u smile today? 

Have you do ur best today?

Have you say thank you or any positive words or attitude today?

Have u feel grateful in this morning when u wake up? 

Thanks god, i grateful for every second u give me. 

It's not always how much money can we earn or get, but how we deal with our life.

Have money is important but how many u want , it seems no limit so when u can decide it's enough and then u can use money for good cause.